Borderline Insanity
by Ookami Tsubasawa
Summary: Hinata's father locked her in an asylum as a child, leaving her with murderers and the mentally unstable. But she'd still wait for him, because someday he'd come back for her, right? Until then, she was at the mercy of those she was trapped with.
1. Abandoned

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BORDERLINE INSANITY

* * *

"Apprehension, uncertainty, waiting, expectation, fear of surprise, do a patient more harm than any exertion."  
**-Florence Nightingale**

She couldn't remember exactly how long she had been there, in that place. But she did remember the first day, when her father brought her to this strange place and spoke with a man in a white coat. She was still quite young, so didn't understand the complex things they spoke of. But she was perfectly aware of her father walking out and leaving her, shutting the door in her face so she couldn't follow.

He'd left his child in an asylum, deeming her mentally unstable and claimed he was unsuitable to care for her.

She knew the truth though, she was unwanted.

So he got rid of her, blowing her problems way out of proportion so she was taken in by the man in the white coat. Her father belonged here for abandoning his little girl to a place with frightening people and fake doctors. She didn't deserve to suffer like this.

She was mostly kept isolated, in a small white room with a bed and a toilet. It was a prison cell. But she hadn't done anything wrong. At least she thought she hadn't, she didn't know anymore.

As time went by, as time always does, people came, people left and people died. New voices cried in the night, and new doctors came to give her new drugs. She was allowed out now and again to mingle with other people, in hopes her social skills would improve. She met different people, yet gave them the cold shoulder, watching them owlishly, childishly curious.

And then there was _him_.

She though he was a demon the first time she saw him. It was back when she'd been newly admitted and was allowed to see the other children. Not surprisingly, there wasn't many other children. But then again, very few parents would abandon their children there so young. There had been two others. A loud blonde boy who ran around the room like a hyperactive ape, and then there was _him_.

His hair was the deepest, brightest red she had ever seen. His large aquamarine eyes were lined with black, reminding her of a panda. He was pale, and a tattoo stood out on the left side of his forehead. Kanji for love. He was curled into a silent little ball and ignored Hinata and the doctor, while the blonde boy ran over and started talking at a fast pace.

She never was told what they were in for, and she didn't tell them. She didn't speak at all actually and ended up sitting in a corner, the blonde boy having lost interest in her.

She was familiar with most of the people there now from just watching and listening. Some had terrible stories and were in awful states. A few were even criminals.

In all the years she'd been there her father had not once bothered to come see her. She waited expectantly, though uncertain from the start and even now she was still waiting. Didn't he miss her? He visited Okaasan while she was in a mental hospital for a while. She'd think her Okaasan was still alive if her cousin hadn't screamed the truth at her the moment he laid eyes on her before he attacked her.

He'd been brought in, apparently due to being unable to get over his fathers death. They'd been kept separate for the most part ever since.

But today was one of the days for her to be locked in her room. Her food and a glass of water was left for her and like usual she didn't touch it. Every few days she'd not eat and though unhealthy, she hadn't died yet. It was probably just another reason they thought she was insane. She had a visit with a few patients tomorrow though and she'd need her strength if any of them were feeling violent.

She'd been in a few fights being small and timid. To the aggressive patients she was easy prey. A few patients were tolerant or even kind to her, but she didn't really show the same courtesy.

To everyone she was withdrawn, closed off, mentally ill.

To her, they were all strangers, waiting for her to let her guard down before they hurt her.

It was sad, but life is sad. Life is tough, hard and unfair.

But she'd learnt to live with it for the most part.


	2. Little Mouse

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**BORDELINE INSANITY**

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PATIENT FILE

Name: Hyuuga Hinata

D.O.B: December 27th

Blood Type: A

Condition: Paranoia, Agoraphobia, mute, extremely low self-esteem, nervous and fearful of people, avoids communication and physical contact, irregular sleeping and eating pattern, low intelligence, extremely withdrawn, attempted masochism, lack of interest in surroundings, possible affectionless psychopathy sufferer, traumatised by mothers mental illness and death.

* * *

The socializing system was alike to introducing wild animals to each other. They were placed facing each other with a thick glass wall between them. Holes in the glass allowed the patients to speak with each other. If the patients seemed to get along they were allowed physical contact. Patients were usually forced into controlled contact with people of the same age, different amounts of restraint and supervision on each one and those too dangerous completely isolated.

This system had come into place after a rather violent fight between four boys. Hinata had heard screams and bangs and heard rumours of shattered bones and lots of blood. All four were said to have survived and made a full recovery, though one had to have an operation.

Hinata's first visit was to Anko. Anko was a woman with bipolar disorder. She was said to be incredibly aggressive and was mentally traumatised during childhood. The doctors liked to give the patients a description of there new acquaintance just before they met them. This usually terrified the meeker patients. Since the doctors decided she was incredibly dim, they told her more then they should. After the first meeting patients can request to see the same person again. But social interaction is usually deemed necessary.

The first time Hinata met Anko the woman had a screaming fit, shouting and threatening her, banging on the glass. She was sedated and taken away. Strangely though, she requested Hinata's presence again and again and eventually seemed to form an attachment, allowing physical contact. Quite a few chose to have Hinata as their social interaction as she was quiet and timid.

"Little mouse!" Anko cried in greeting, sweeping Hinata into an immediate hug. Any meetings were carefully observed for violent behaviour. The asylum wanted to keep medical costs to the minimum. "How are you today?"

Anko had become affectionate and excitable around Hinata, she hadn't been aggressive towards the girl in the last six months at least. Anko declared Hinata was less nervous and flinchy and therefore knew she cared about her too. Clearly the doctors agreed somewhat. Hinata believed Anko just needed someone to listen to her.

"Those others make me so angry! They don't understand me little mouse, you should be allowed with me all the time so when I have to have time with adults my age I don't have to pay attention to them. I'm bound to get into fights soon, they irritate me!" Anko would continue to talk until their time was up and Hinata would patiently listen. Then she would be dragged off to the next person they wanted her to see while Anko screeched insults at them as they took her away. She made Hinata a little nervous, but the smaller girl appreciated Anko's company and the protection that came with it. Others weren't as nice as her.

Take her next person for social interaction, Uchiha Sasuke. He showed little reaction to her so she was deemed perfect for socialising with him. He came here around two years after her, apparently his family was slaughtered by his older brother (who was kept on the other side of the asylum). Sasuke tended to be extremely violent, lashed out at most people especially males and those that were loud. He disliked physical contact and had difficulty sleeping and little appetite. Apparently he wasn't completely sane anymore. He was always quiet and broody when she was around, glaring at her while she sat in the corner furthest from him. The doctors decided that since she hadn't been physically hit by him that she was good for him. So they left her to suffer discomfort and insecurity.

Last of that day was Gaara. If anything he was worse than Sasuke. She stayed in a corner away from him and he would glare at her, mumbling under his breath. He was said to be chronically depressed with terrible insomnia, extremely violent and mentally unstable. She'd heard he was schizophrenic with multiple personality disorder too. There were rumours of cannibalism and genocide. The doctor told her he was violent and insane. Most of the time he ignored her, but sometimes he would stare at her so intently she wanted to soil herself. Now was one of those times.

"_No, I agree… She isn't mute and she isn't dumb… Those eyes… Those eyes_…"

He was one of the ones that scared her the most.

"_Fragile little creature_…"

"Hyuuga-san, come along you're done for today."

And she would follow the doctor with those eyes burning into her back. There would be a few days of isolation before a group socialising. She hated those. Gaara was rarely aloud to attend. He usually attacked one of the other patients.


	3. Voices

**BORDERLINE INSANITY**

* * *

"Asuma, Asuma, they've brought the little girl back again," Kurenai cooed bundling Hinata into her arms. Hinata had learnt to just allow the woman to hold her, the more she squirmed the tighter Kurenai would hold.

Kurenai's beloved Asuma had died in the war. Hinata heard that Kurenai refused to believe the letter informing her of his death and continued to wait for him, heavily pregnant and deeply stressed. Kurenai liked to talk about and to her ghost baby too, but Hinata didn't know if the baby died or was taken away.

"Asuma, do you think our baby girl is as beautiful as her?" Kurenai would say airily while combing through Hinata's hair with hair long fingers. Kurenai couldn't seem to decide whether her baby was a boy or girl and changed her mind regularly. The only thing constant was Asuma's ghost, always in the room where no one else could see. Only Kurenai with her mad red eyes.

The boys were brought in shortly after as usual.

Shino stood where he was left beside the door, as silent as Hinata and refusing to move a muscle. Kiba ran around the room, shouting to his imaginary friend while Hinata watched him. She wondered in those games whether this Akamaru person ever won, or perhaps Kiba's pride wouldn't let it show.

"Asuma, do you want our boy to be as boisterous as Kiba? Do you want him to be as well-behaved as Shino? Oh yes, he's your boy, your precious little boy. He's just like you..."

"Akamaru! Akamaru! Can't catch me! Can't catch me!"

"The buzzing is too loud..." Shino murmured hands reaching up to cover his ears. He headed to the corner and sank into it, becoming a part of the blinding white room.

"Asuma..."

"Akamaru!"

Hinata wondered if they were the same person. Akasumaru perhaps?

"Can't catch me!"

"Our baby..."

Hinata yearned for the solitude of her room, their ghosts were too loud. The imaginary voices were beginning to scream.

"Come along Hinata, next person," the man in the white coat said taking her hand.

"NO!" Kurenai screamed clawing at the doctor. "She's my baby! You can't have her! You can't take her! She's mine! Asuma says she's mine!"

Hinata shut it all out into a mumble, the noises blurring into each other. They were group eight, they would be put back together again soon. The children were Kurenai's child. The never-ending buzzing in Shino's ears faded when they were there. Akamaru missed them when they weren't around, or so Kiba said.

Hinata wondered if they had tried to put the seventh group together again. Oh the noise was deafening from that room. She was being escorted to see Gaara when the racket started. Abandoning her, the woman in the white coat rushed into the room to help pull them apart leaving Hinata to stand in the doorway and stare blankly inside.

"SASUKE IS MINE! HE'S MINE! NO ONE ELSE CAN HAVE HIM!" the girl screamed shrilly at the top of her lungs, red face clashing with oddly pink hair. She was clawing at the Uchiha's shirt while the boy shrieked and kicked clawing at her face in a rage. Naruto ran around hyper and violent, unable to control his manic energy as he too joined in the screams demanding attention and saying that Sakura was his.

She remembered Kakashi in the corner scratching at his face and crying out as he rocked back and forth, back slamming against the white wall as hard as he could.

"He looks like Obito... She looks like Rin... He looks like sensei... My fault... My fault... My fault..."

She had wandered around the open doors looking into the one way windows. She saw the childen her age in the nearby rooms. Ino, a severe anorexic her long blonde hair stringy around her hollow face, Chouji who has binge eating disorder and seeing someone laying on the floor she supposed it was Shikamaru who had narcolepsy.

Apart from Ino's shrieking wails it was reasonably quiet.

As was the next room. She recognised Neji, despite his longer hair and his drastic weight loss. Lee was rushing around in a similar way to Naruto, able to hear the commotion and frustrated at not being able to join in. Hinata flinched slightly when he kicked at the glass near her face before rushing to the opposite wall. The girl in the room was a recent admittance, Tenten was her name apparently. Spotting the criss-crossing scars she was dragging mitten like gloves over Hinata guessed she was a self-harmer. Hinata always felt compassion for those poor people most. They were always at the lowest of the low and desperately seeked self-punishment.

"Hinata!"

She was led away after that, back to her room and away from Gaara.

She slept better that night.

But today she had to see him.

The men in white coats liked his interest in her so wanted to increase her visits. She just wanted to be left alone, away from those piercing eyes.

Luckily, it seemed Gaara wasn't in the mood today. He sat there glaring at her over his crossed arms and bent knees and she sat in the corner furthest away, specifically avoiding eye contact.

She flinched feeling his gaze and risked a look to see him inches away from her face.

"Look at me."

His growl was deep and guttural and it scared her. Her lavender eyes stayed on his, not daring to move them.

"Look at us."

She didn't know what else she was meant to look at so kept her eyes fixed on his, scared to look at or do the wrong thing.

"But only _see_ me."

"Hinata, time's up."

The man pried her from the wall, away from where Gaara was cornering her. He snarled at his prey being taken away but she didn't dare look back, hand cold and clammy in the man in white coat's firm grip.


	4. Eyes

**BORDERLINE INSANITY**

* * *

When she thought back, Hinata remembered she had a fear of thunderstorms and darkness. Neither of these exist in the white rooms. There is no sound from outside and the white walls scare the dark away. It's almost as though time doesn't exist here. Only through the growth of herself does she realise the passage of time. Or perhaps medication is speeding up the process?

The men she saw today all had tortured eyes, like the dark clouds of storms raged within them.

Hatake Kakashi was an aloof man with mismatched eyes. Apparently he had an eye transplant when he was injured as a young soldier. The eye belonged to his best friend who he watched die on the battlefield and the medic was the childhood unrequieted love of his best friend. She committed suicide quite a while ago. Their sensei was rumoured to be Naruto's father and died to protect Naruto. Hinata only heard the gossips and the rumours so she didn't know for sure.

"Good day Hinata," Kakashi said his face hidden behind a mask and headband as well as a pornographic book. With these items Kakashi seemed almost calm apart from the sudden tensing and the rapid movements of his eyes as he followed every shadow. Taking these items from him usually resulted in violence. Hinata was not like his old friends so she didn't cause him to become upset. She doubted he really paid attention to her, but he had the outwards appearance of someone friendly.

"Your boobs are starting to get big," he said lewdly, chuckling dryly to himself. She forced herself not to react, but he noticed her curl in on herself slightly, wanting to shield herself from him. He knew the truth with that sharp eye. The eye of the Uchiha's that used to be famous for their observation skills and photographic memory. She remembered her father telling her so once. However, Kakashi chose not to tell her secrets. She doubted he thought her worth the effort.

She didn't comment on the suffocating sorrow surrounding him. He didn't comment on her facade and lies.

The second man, in her opinion, had the most haunted eyes of all.

He was in a high security cell, despite the fact he had shown no violence or aggression since he had been put here. He looked up as she came in and when the door closed and the doctor left he tilted his head to scrutinise her.

The first time she had seen him, Uchiha Itachi had mistaken her for his brother Sasuke with her short dark hair. He had cried and apologised endlessly. Said the government told him to. Said they'd kill everyone in the town if he didn't. He closed up when he saw her white eyes instead of black. Her composure had slipped in front of him and she had let out a tear. Their moments of weakness were not discussed, but it was as though they shared a secret now. Almost as if they were allies. But of course, Hinata didn't believe in such things in this place. There were no allies in a mad house.

"Hello Hinata. Are they using you again today?"

He could read her body language perfectly even if she said nothing. His hollow eyes were so lifeless it was frightening and she wondered if the ghosts were louder to him than to Sasuke. Secretly in her heart she was sad for him. Sad the government, or perhaps merely the voices in his head, forced him to do something so horrible as to kill everyone he loved except one who now hated him for sparing him. Those eyes begged and pleaded for death, for suffering, for punishment. They were so desperate.

His eyes were cloudier this time. She could see he was going blind from infinite unshed tears. But the ghosts wouldn't disappear even if his sight did. He would see them, even if they saw nothing else.

"Are you still scared of being here?"

Terribly so. I want father to come back. I want to go home. I want my mother to take me in her arms and say everything's okay. I want Neji-nii to smile when he sees me again and ask me to come watch the koi fish with him.

Being with Uchiha Itachi always made her heart sting. He was a man who had lost everything and reminded her of what awaited her. To waste away endlessly until the last moment. Locked in the prison of white rooms and loud thoughts.

She wondered if a broken heart would turn her blind too.

"Farewell Hinata, until the next time."

He was polite as always, the perfect son. He would be perfect until the end. She wished she could set him free, but she had no knife, no rope, no drugs suitable. Euthanasia was not possible in this place. She apologised sincerely within her heart to him.

There was the ghost of a smile on his face when she looked back. It was like he read her thoughts, understood and forgave her.

How sad.

The last man was a new, horrifying encounter.

The long dark hair that fell loose over the sallow face reminded her a bit of her father. She had never met him before and the way he looked at her scared her so much she nearly soiled herself. It was so predatory and insane, almost as though he wasn't human. She half expected a snake to break free of his skin and spit its venom at her, bare it's fangs menacingly.

"Oh! What a pretty body you have!" he hissed in glee, yellow, bloodshot eyes mad and bulging. "But ssso fragile and ssso weak! No good, no good, won't do at all!"

He grinned so wide she was amazed he didn't split his face and his tongue lolled out, too long, too slimy, to lick his wide cracked lips.

"Are you ssscared to die little moussse? I'll _never_ ever die. I'll sssteal peoplesss bodiesss and live forever!" he started to cackle manically. Hinata was frozen staring at this man wide-eyed. He was scary. He was terrifying! "Sssnakesss eat miccce you know! Come clossser?"

The first sound she had made in months burst from her mouth in a raspy high-pitched scream before she could consider her place, the image she had to fool the men in white coats so they let their guard down around her. The monster leapt at her, thin white hands like large spiders leaping at her face trying to grab a hold of her, tear her apart and steal her body, her life, her very soul!

The men in white coats seemed to take hours to come as she kicked and scratched and cried as he gripped and clawed and bit her with sharp nails and sharp teeth like that of a beast.

Finally they were pulled apart and she scrambled up and ran. Like a mouse she scurried round their legs and raced down the white halls. Can't catch me, can't catch me, I'll find a hole to hide in too small for you to reach me!

She knew the codes to all the doors. They thought she was stupid but no, she knew where they wouldn't look. She knew where they'd go first. She wasn't going back to the snake man, oh no. She was never going back there no matter how many drugs they injected her with.

She slammed the door shut behind her and sinking to her knees she threw her face into her hands and curled up crying silently. The tremors raging through her body like an earthquake from inside.

"What are you doing in here? You're not usually so eager to get in here."

She flinched at the voice and looked up slowly. She could see the twisted grin through the blurry filter of her tears and wondered if she's been too rash in her desperate decision.

Had she run from the coils of a snake into the jaws of a tiger?


End file.
